


What’ve I done

by Sn0wbro



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24822706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sn0wbro/pseuds/Sn0wbro
Summary: Hannah Baker wakes up in the hospital after her failed suicide attempt, and she has to decide what to do with the tapes, how to go back to school, and more.
Relationships: Hannah Baker & Jessica Davis & Alex Standall, Hannah Baker/Clay Jensen, Hannah Baker/Tony Padilla, Hannah baker/her parents
Kudos: 1





	What’ve I done

**Author's Note:**

> Not a one shot- jay asher almost had her fail her attempt and tho this is based off of the tv show cause it is better- that idea sparked this because i wanna explore what would happen, there is also other ones i wanna write but u know for now we will stick with this one

Hannah  
Icould hear people talking around me, but I couldn’t do anything. I had heard stories that people could hear what other people said in a coma but i never knew if it was true. Gahhh dammit i let tony get the tapes. The doctor said i had been in a coma for almost a day and i should wake up soon. Good i thought, finally i get to tell tony to get rid of the tapes for now. But tony had called my mom and driven over and i was bleeding out and they got me an ambulance and i was so close to it all being over. Then i faded back into sleep.  
When i woke up i learned i had been in a coma for 56 hours and there was a therapist and mr porter and tony and clay, my heart skipped a beat as i saw him, but why is he here, i thought he hated me because i told him to leave and he just did, he walked out on me ,and because of Jeff being “my drama and stuff”. Well apparently he cared, i thought. I should be dead though. But maybe it is good that im alive, right? Then i saw jess and Alex and i immediately got a little pissed off, and holding hands right next to me were my parents who had puffy red eyes and looked exhausted. I tried to move but then i felt a sharp pain in my arms and once again thought about the bathtub. Everyone was saying stuff to me but i didn’t really register much before i said “can i have a few minutes alone with my parents and then with tony”   
“Ok but do you mind if the therapist observes?” My mom said  
“Yeah, when I speak with Tony.”  
“Ok Hannah” my mom said in a confused tone.  
After I talked with my parents who said they were so glad i was alive and that I wasn’t a liability to them and all that other bs along with basically every cliche in the book and i didn’t buy it. I knew they didn’t want me to kill myself but they didn’t understand that if i was gone it would be better for them. Then tony and I got a moment alone and despite the severe awkwardness of this all, he was who i needed to talk to, he was who i could confide in and he owed me a favor from the movies anyways. “DId you release the tapes” i asked in a shaky voice, dreading the yes that i expected to come. I could just see them being like, attention grabbing slut, sent out tapes to take a revenge and failed the attempt on purpose. No, don’t think like that right now i told myself.  
“Yeah” tony said, but once i realized you were alive i told Alex not to pass them on, although he had so i think Tyler has them rn. But Hannah, why didn’t you talk to me, i could have helped you, or maybe clay could have. You know how much he loves you? He took the news so badly.” I brightened when he mentioned clay and i was so glad he hadn’t gotten the tapes yet, that would be awkward.   
“Did you listen to the tapes” I croaked out, hating how my voice sounded.   
“Yeah” he said “Hannah i-“  
“STOP, i don’t need to hear you apologize or say you feel bad, you aren’t even on the tapes.”  
“Ok well i still feel bad-also do you want me to keep them going cause i can stop them”  
“Tyler has probably downloaded them so it doesn’t matter but yes, try and stop them” I said, then after further consideration “how has everyone who heard taken it, especially Jess?”  
Well Justin is telling her that Bryce didn’t rape her and she seems to believe it although she has been off since that party and she has been even more off since the tapes, and she has been drinking a lot, you can tell by her breath and the way she walks and talks. Justin has been puffy eyed and exhausted but he says things he doesn’t mean.”of course, that sounds like Justin, spreading rumors and saying shit just to make himself better-asshole “Alex took it really bad, like he has been super pissed off and he’s drinking and stuff and always with Bryce and Justin and Monty and all of them.”   
“Of course he is”  
“It’s only been two days since you have been in the coma and only 5 since it happened.” Tony said  
“Five????”   
“Oh yeah, you woke up and were on a lot of drugs and you were in and out for like 2 ½ days before you got put in a drug coma or whatever it’s called. Anyways i sent out the tapes when i showed up and saw them put you in a bodybag- I didn’t think you had made it. As soon as we heard you had a ton of us showed up. Hannah we were so scared, and clay well he is practically in denial and then he is questioning everything but he never mentioned what happened at the night at the party, he seems embarrassed or something. But hannah, i wish i could have been there for you, especially when you needed me- im so so so sorry.” OMFG what’ve i done he’s practically crying and stuff even with the tapes he doesn’t get it   
“You were there tony- i just- it was my choice and no one can stop what happened but the ppl on the tapes and I just cant let that happen to me again-also why tf is mr porter here?”  
“Well he is the counselor and he probably feels awful about that day in his office” tony said. “Speaking of other people, everyone else wants to see you, and clay doesn’t hate you. Also Hannah, its not my place but i think if you let the tapes make their rounds then it would be good so that everyone might not hurt you again.”  
“Then they would be fake tony-i cant do that either”  
“Maybe, or maybe they would be more real, like clay has opened up a ton about you to me, he even said that something happened that he wasn’t ready to talk about and it proved that you only liked him as a friend or that he had misinterpreted the signs and rushed things and he broke down and looked away. He blames himself and maybe if he hears his tape, it might make a difference, you know?’  
“Maybe i will think about it” i replied sharper than i thought it would sound as tony cringed and muttered an apology “ i think im ready to talk with other people but one at a time”  
“Ok” Tony said, “i will send them in starting with … clay”  
Clay  
I was so scared, i felt like it was my fault and she would hate me. I was shaking when I walked in. “At least in here it doesnt smell like burnt popcorn” i awkwardly started the conversation “hannah im so-“  
“Don’t apologize clay”  
“But i said so many things and i didn’t stop you when you returned your uniform and i rushed things at the party and i am just a dick so…”  
“No clay- it wasn’t you at the party and you don’t even say those things on purpose and i wouldn’t have stopped me either when i returned the uniform… so stop beating yourself up” hannah said as she grabbed his hand weakly so as not to break the stitching holding her arm together and she awkwardly kissed him “that’s on me clay”  
Now i was confused, like i really don’t get anything do i-whatever she just kissed me??? “Ummm… “ she started to laugh and wow her smile is beautiful “no hannah it’s on me. And why’d you kiss me” he blurted out in clay like fasion and hannah turned red and quickly said  
“Oh sorry”  
“Don’t be, i like you a lot, and i guess now isn’t the time for this but umm maybe some other time once you have recovered we can talk it out.”  
“No clay-I like you too-a lot” Hannah says which makes me start to lose my shit in my head in a good way and...


End file.
